I am learning to embrace stepping within.
To Find A Balance In Life During It's Constant Movement Is A Challenge.Everything that ever was is defined in terms of contrast. Dark vs light. Good vs bad. Right vs. wrong. Awake vs. sleep. Happy vs. sad. Love vs. hate or rich vs. poor. Are all of these things not just words that are taped on the side of a box; a defined square of judgement withholding emotions or visions that the human language labels? They sit in a box cluttered in a restrictive category, entangled in guilt because they can be nothing other then the label on their box.
When is enough enough? When do we say, "what's the difference"? One laughter is an others howl. One sound is an others deafness. One closed heart is only an others open heart. Balance is tricky but it's not unattainable. The "vs" within the contrast of two items is what keeps them separated. What if we took out the "vs" and just left it as is? Happy next to sad is basically saying happy IS sad and vise verse. Balancing could be as easy or as hard as walking a plank that sits on a sharp edged stone. Maybe the best place to have your feet planted is somewhere in the middle, either that or taking the plunge off the one of the sides. Is it possible to find the balance in extreme difference? Is it possible to find find steadiness in constant movement?
When is enough enough? When do we say, "what's the difference"? One laughter is an others howl. One sound is an others deafness. One closed heart is only an others open heart. Balance is tricky but it's not unattainable. The "vs" within the contrast of two items is what keeps them separated. What if we took out the "vs" and just left it as is? Happy next to sad is basically saying happy IS sad and vise verse. Balancing could be as easy or as hard as walking a plank that sits on a sharp edged stone. Maybe the best place to have your feet planted is somewhere in the middle, either that or taking the plunge off the one of the sides. Is it possible to find the balance in extreme difference? Is it possible to find find steadiness in constant movement?
EscapingI have been writing about a home grown life vs. life on the road. Is it possible to have both? Is it possible to roam the edge of the world and then come home and grow a vegetable garden? Who would maintain that crafted home with the wood stove and the compost pit next to the chicken coup while the other half of you is gone roaming around and shifting the world? Would one life abandon the other life? Would the door swing open, everyone jump ship and leave one life behind? What if you want both? What if you want to pull back that swinging door that sits on the edge of the cliff and slam it shut?
Getting EntangledA friend recently said to another friend, "I want to get all entangled in your life".......
Isn't life entangled either way? Aren't we all just moving from one experience to the next wrapping ourselves in each others lives and leading a spool of thread on our trail? Life is meant to be a web of thoughts and ideas, friendships and careers, intimacy and connection. Wouldn't it only make sense to get yourself entangled?
A perfect example would be my hair. It's curly. Straight. Flat AND fro, all in the same moment. It's entangled almost 99% of the time. It's messy. Dramatic . Graceful. Soft. Crunchy. It gets caught in friends earrings. It gets caught in spiky branches in the trees or in the thorns down low in the forests. I have most of my day stuck in my hair. It's as symbolic and as beautiful as having lines on the face of older women and men who gather up years as they continue to stride forward. You can't really show that you have lived this life without proof. So again, isn't the saying wanting to get "all entangled in your life" one of the most fluid, graceful AND beautiful things that you have ever heard?!?!?!
I say GET ENTANGLED. Get as deep and lost within someone else as humanly possible. Get as captured, mixed up and involved with all of life, as you can.
That's my profound "ah ha" of the the week.
Skipping Over The Lilly PatchI have been writing about the past. A fogged up memory of something that once was and as beautiful as that image is, when is it time to truly let go of something that only exists within a compartment of you brain?
When is it time to sift through your photographs, emotions, and dreams that no longer are?
When do you hit that delete button?
Choosing to SwimI am ALSO, besides everything else, in this constant, slash stagnant, place within my writing. For the past two months I have been stuck. It's not like I have been stuck within my life although, is being stuck within my writing an example of being stuck within my life? Or is this "stickiness" a classic example of writers block? Is it normal to throw out so many questions knowing very well it's not like the the black hole within this satellite connection is ever going to answer me?
So I keep asking myself, "Do I even write at all?" Do I sink or DO I SWIM....even if it's only doggy paddle?
I have been writing about hearts opening, closing and re-opening
I have been writing about things that should be more black and white but ARE NOT
I have been listening and writing,with pleasure, the rustling of death in the treesI have spent hours writing about the constant color and beauty in my life
I have spent hours writing about the ground and constant movement in life
I have spent hours writing about LOVE.......
I have ALSO written about:
Art. Brilliant people. Creative concepts. The color of EVERYTHING. My mind is racing with new things to write about and constantly shifting and changing it's topic every 2 seconds.
Change IS an inevitable process of life. Aren't we always going to be in constant flux? Isn't it silly to hold on to anything be that an idea or relationship? Isn't it silly if we never wanted to change at all: too afraid of what lies ahead but knowing that movement is what is necessary for growth?
How boring would we be or how boring life would be if there wasn't some sort of movement to it.
Our summer has shifted into Autumn. Leaves are turning a crazy collage of color. Each leaf being dipped in it's own separate compartment of paint. Each one falling at any given moment but the right time for the individual leaf. They fall after they peak. While a lot of folks are driving around to involve themselves in the "LAST " weekend to go hunting for a golden red fire in the hills, there are those of us who are also about to peak emotionally and physically. We then start to make room for winter to come in with a soft and silent presence as all signs of a fast paced summer burns itself out.
Seasons all have their peaking months. Jobs peak. Songs and books peak... do we all in a sense "peak" within a relationship, job, creative form, athletic time, or as a whole on a specific time or date? I'd like to think that it's best to leave a social gathering when it's at it's prime. That way you don't over extend your stay and all the drama that takes place later on in the night isn't something you have to carry on into the morning. BUT what if you place such a high or low expectation on the "peak" experience that you never actually get to live the peak experience because you cut it off before it has it's chance to play out? What if you end the job, relationship, creative form BEFORE it peaks?
My hands often find themselves wrapping around multiple tree trunks a day. I like holding on to things that let me hold on to them. Have you ever tried to hug a tree that pulled away before you were done hugging it? But the point of this side tracked story wasn't the hugging of a tree. It was about discovering perfectly bright orange and green streaked leaves and finding running fingers latching onto these leaves, tugging on them so that they would "fall" into my hands. Do I push the peaking to meet my own needs? Do I push and pull too hard because I THOUGHT that the leaves should be in my hands rather then complete it's cycle? YES. Why?
Why do we think we know when something should be over, removed, moved on from or let go? We make constant plans that all take place in the future, in a "time" that hasn't even manifested itself yet and while we do this we also make a ton of unknown expectations. I wonder what would happen if we literally just LET GO. What if we took everything in this one moment and surrendered it over? What if we let this moment reach it's full potential? Would we all be wiser, kinder and more compassionate to allow the day to play itself out before we had the chance to capture it in a cage of meaning?
I have written about being ungrounded. Grounded. Sinking and swimming......
Being thrown off guard. Being hurt. Sad. Liberated. Excited. Heavy and light all in one sentence
As the weather seems to be reflecting emotions these days, the lightness has settled in and the laughter is constant. Some of the most incredible art presents itself when emotion reaches an extreme low or high. There is an on going joke with the brilliant musicians and artists in my life. The joke is this: Thank Jimminy Cricket, god, and the universe for the heartache. Tragedy. The falling. Crying. Worthlessness. Thank god for the disaster. The unexpected in greatness and disappointment. The lack of loyalty. The friends and intimate relationships that PUSH so hard there is no where to go but down and then back up again.
I wouldn't have the material. I wouldn't be the artist that I say I am.
The greatness in my life is reflected in my art. This is art. This expression. This chaos. This structure. This ability to let it ALL JUST GO......is my art.
Some of our best work comes out when we least expect it because the door is left swinging open minus the expectation. Some of us need to do a better job of letting go of our judgements of ourselves and to be, ONLY, ourselves.
The truth lies under all of our layers. Remove them for a second. Can you feel that the breath just created a little bit of space within the corners of your life? Did you get a glimpse of balance?
Are you reaching within?
Art. Brilliant people. Creative concepts. The color of EVERYTHING. My mind is racing with new things to write about and constantly shifting and changing it's topic every 2 seconds.
Change IS an inevitable process of life. Aren't we always going to be in constant flux? Isn't it silly to hold on to anything be that an idea or relationship? Isn't it silly if we never wanted to change at all: too afraid of what lies ahead but knowing that movement is what is necessary for growth?
How boring would we be or how boring life would be if there wasn't some sort of movement to it.
Our summer has shifted into Autumn. Leaves are turning a crazy collage of color. Each leaf being dipped in it's own separate compartment of paint. Each one falling at any given moment but the right time for the individual leaf. They fall after they peak. While a lot of folks are driving around to involve themselves in the "LAST " weekend to go hunting for a golden red fire in the hills, there are those of us who are also about to peak emotionally and physically. We then start to make room for winter to come in with a soft and silent presence as all signs of a fast paced summer burns itself out.
Seasons all have their peaking months. Jobs peak. Songs and books peak... do we all in a sense "peak" within a relationship, job, creative form, athletic time, or as a whole on a specific time or date? I'd like to think that it's best to leave a social gathering when it's at it's prime. That way you don't over extend your stay and all the drama that takes place later on in the night isn't something you have to carry on into the morning. BUT what if you place such a high or low expectation on the "peak" experience that you never actually get to live the peak experience because you cut it off before it has it's chance to play out? What if you end the job, relationship, creative form BEFORE it peaks?
My hands often find themselves wrapping around multiple tree trunks a day. I like holding on to things that let me hold on to them. Have you ever tried to hug a tree that pulled away before you were done hugging it? But the point of this side tracked story wasn't the hugging of a tree. It was about discovering perfectly bright orange and green streaked leaves and finding running fingers latching onto these leaves, tugging on them so that they would "fall" into my hands. Do I push the peaking to meet my own needs? Do I push and pull too hard because I THOUGHT that the leaves should be in my hands rather then complete it's cycle? YES. Why?
Why do we think we know when something should be over, removed, moved on from or let go? We make constant plans that all take place in the future, in a "time" that hasn't even manifested itself yet and while we do this we also make a ton of unknown expectations. I wonder what would happen if we literally just LET GO. What if we took everything in this one moment and surrendered it over? What if we let this moment reach it's full potential? Would we all be wiser, kinder and more compassionate to allow the day to play itself out before we had the chance to capture it in a cage of meaning?
I have written about being ungrounded. Grounded. Sinking and swimming......
Being thrown off guard. Being hurt. Sad. Liberated. Excited. Heavy and light all in one sentence
As the weather seems to be reflecting emotions these days, the lightness has settled in and the laughter is constant. Some of the most incredible art presents itself when emotion reaches an extreme low or high. There is an on going joke with the brilliant musicians and artists in my life. The joke is this: Thank Jimminy Cricket, god, and the universe for the heartache. Tragedy. The falling. Crying. Worthlessness. Thank god for the disaster. The unexpected in greatness and disappointment. The lack of loyalty. The friends and intimate relationships that PUSH so hard there is no where to go but down and then back up again.
I wouldn't have the material. I wouldn't be the artist that I say I am.
The greatness in my life is reflected in my art. This is art. This expression. This chaos. This structure. This ability to let it ALL JUST GO......is my art.
Some of our best work comes out when we least expect it because the door is left swinging open minus the expectation. Some of us need to do a better job of letting go of our judgements of ourselves and to be, ONLY, ourselves.
The truth lies under all of our layers. Remove them for a second. Can you feel that the breath just created a little bit of space within the corners of your life? Did you get a glimpse of balance?
Are you reaching within?
